Dishonesty

It’s not that you were being dishonest but choosing instead, to keep that part of you to yourself. It could be argued that you were lying by omittance though sometimes preserving that part of yourself is what protects you from those closest to you. Still, what are you supposed to say in a ‘bare all’ world where nothing is scared and everybody is judged by everybody else, where nobody respects anybody and respect is cast aside for the sake of those tabloid moments sat in small circles.

Sure, you keep a lot to yourself and although you’ve got anything to hide, that doesn’t mean you want to be found, you to want to keep on keeping that part of you to yourself because it’s that part of you that hoards you off from the rest of the world and it’s that part of you that has protected you from all of the cruelty in between.

Still, as hard as it is, you need to be open enough to allow somebody else close enough so it really does matter, you need to be vulnerable but vulnerability has cost you in the past, which is the problem and why that hoarding is right where it is.

Though living alone is as much of a chore as living with your fears, so you roll your dice and opt to keep intact that part of you that you’ve been keeping to yourself all of these years, you opt for safety but as it turns out, a few years later, that has cost you more than all of your fears combined and that kindred soul to who you initially turned, needed that part of you, needed that vulnerability because it was that vulnerability, it was that part of you they needed to shore their fallen world from falling any further, they needed to reinforce that part of themselves that they were hoarding off from that very same world in which you live. They weren’t snooping around for dirt, they weren’t nosing around for some sort of leverage, they were simply sifting through the wreckage of your fears, they were simply trying to find some sort of reassurance in amidst all of your broken pieces, that they too, weren’t going to open up a healing wound and instead try and heal what often times, can never be healed.

That one single act of openness, that one single act of courage could’ve changed everything, could’ve change the entire course of your life had you had the insight to know what was then unknown, had you been able to lift the veil of your fears and embrace that soul who’d come to you as much as you had come to them through the intricate weavings of the life, because you shared a common wound that may’ve been healed by the common hand formed through the relationship you both sought.

Though, fear’s a mysterious bitch that clouds your eyes and douses your heart in ways you don’t always understand where, more often than not, it takes more time than you have to understand and make the decisions you once made and why loneliness is a secret that is too often kept alone.

Freedom from within,

The Journeyman.

www.thejourneyman.com